Are Your kids going to be your forever excuse? You can keep making excuses or you can start making changes. Both will keep you moving, but one will spin you in circles while the other will propel you forward. Choose wisely.
That’s me and my boys in the picture. At the time I appeared to have it all yet I was unraveling on the inside. I needed help. But I was scared, and I didn’t want to feel it.
My kids became my forever excuse.
I can’t go to the doctor because the kids appts are more important.
I can’t attend the healing retreat because of the kids.
I can’t spend the money because of the kids expenses.
I can’t leave because the kids need me.
My kids became the scapegoat for everything. And while it temporarily made me feel like a responsible parent, eventually the resentment caught up to me as I could no longer sustain the denial of my own self care. My personal neglect created a cataclysmic explosion of physical sickness and mental anguish. And my kids—well they had issues despite all my “sacrifice”
We create excuses to avoid discomfort. We don’t do the thing because it might actually be good for us. The thing might take us to new heights personally and professionally. The thing might move us out of our comfort zone. The thing might empower us to be healthy. The thing might cause joy.
I spent my life hiding behind excuses because I was terrified of what would be revealed.
It took near death illness and psychological break down to be my breaking point.
Do you really want to wait for that?
This post is really about two problems—
1. The constant excuses that we hide behind
2. The belief that moms need to sacrifice themselves for the kids.
Excuses hold us back and keep us from growing. They’re nothing more than snippets of brain chatter from outdated survival patterns that are stuck on a loop in our brain.
And being the sacrificial lamb– well that’s just self sabotage. All the literature on child development shows that one of the most important things that a mom can do for her kids is take the best care of herself.
Ditch the excuses. Choose to live. Otherwise life chooses for you, and it won’t be pretty.