Parents, What is the greatest gift you can give your children?
I’ll let my incredible client Joyce answer this question.
I woke up to her email this morning and it is with tears of joy and gratitude that I honor her request to share her story.
“Dr. Kristy I can’t thank you enough. I didn’t realize when I contacted you to help Cameron that this journey would change my life too! Not only is Cameron out from under his hood at the dinner table, off video games at night, and actually speaking to me in the car on the way to practice; oh and playing better in sports and more focused academically,
But I now understand where the disconnect was.
I was so frustrated everyday, running on empty, working my ass off at home and at work, barely eating, barely taking time to pee. Guilty that I wasn’t on the PTA or making cupcakes for the bake sale. Harboring resentment towards my kids and my own parents for years. Hating my job and constantly dealing with friction with my co-workers. Self-medicating with wine every night as I reflected on my day while sitting on the floor staring at my sons locked bedroom door that he was hiding behind. Only to retreat to my own cage to hide and bury my head in my pillow and cry myself to sleep. Only to toss and turn and barely sleep. And wake up the next day to Groundhog Day, replaying the same scenario day after day.
And me and Cam, we just couldn’t see eye to eye. I hated how he dressed, how he was always buried in his hoodie, eyes covered by long hair that he refused to cut, and his grades slipping because he couldn’t seem to focus and didn’t seem to care. We fought all the time. He triggered me constantly. I tried to get him to change. I saw parts of his father in him, and I couldn’t see past that most days. I pressured him to take harder classes as he started high school, convinced him to play a different instrument, and forbid him from playing football. I wanted him to do things my way. I wanted to feel in control. I didn’t know how else to do this. I thought that meant I loved him. Yet we were in hell.
What had become of my life?
I now know that my yelling, my anger, my reactivity, my depression, and my controlling and intrusive ways didn’t mean I was a bad mom.
It meant I was an “unwell” mom.
And you showed me the way to heal.
You helped me to understand why I was triggered by him (and many people in my life), how to resolve the triggers, how to regulate my nervous system, increase my capacity and tolerance, and recognize that my strength as a person is in my calmness, neutral presence, and non-reactive consciousness.
I love that I learned a whole new language!
In returning to my roots, and tapping in to my own intuition, I was able to start to heal. In restoring inner balance within myself, I can connect with my son, I can care without controlling him, and we can experience joy in our home again. You taught me to be a witness to his path, my witnessing my own. And I was able to discover my own inner self-healing tools that allowed anxiety and depression to dissolve.
And In coming home within myself, I have discovered parts of myself that I didn’t even know were there! I am creating again! I am singing again! And I am able to look at all relationships in my life so differently now, even at work, a place where I never thought it was possible for me to experience inner peace.
I come home at night without all the heaviness of stress and anxiety, I participate in my nightly ceremony that we created, and by the time I am ready for bed, I am able to surrender to sleep. I am now sleeping! That’s a miracle in and of itself! And Its now been 9 weeks since I’ve had wine at night. I didn’t even know I had become addicted. I didn’t know then that I was chasing a feeling that cannot possibly be found in a bottle. It’s within me, already. You helped me find it.
I wish I had learned this when I was 14 like Cameron is now! He is a changed kid. I am a changed woman. I have truly been Rewilded. And so has my family.
Thank you for doing this work in the world. It is so needed.
And thank you for always sharing your own life stories with so much honesty. You have shown me that it’s ok to share mine too, so please feel free to share this with the world! I am proud of the work I have done. May everyone seek to be Rewilded!
You are right, it’s what the world is waiting for!
I bet some of you can relate to Joyce.
I know I once did.
As a parent, your WELLNESS is the greatest gift you can give to your children.
How we get well is by REWILDING.
What is wellness?
Wellness is a state of being resilient, ready, and prepared for all aspects of life. Wellness isn’t a perfect state of being; rather it’s a flexibility and adaptability that allows one to be sturdy and strong in the face of challenge and adversity.
It’s the capacity to Be in presence, neutrality, and non-reactivity. It’s the understanding that your strength comes from expanded consciousness, natural calmness, energetic balance, and clarity of mind. It’s a knowing that you can’t meet force with force.
What is ReWilding?
It’s the emancipation from the domestication and conditioning of distraction, fear, and tolerance, to the empowered freedom of curiosity, creativity, passion, purpose, instinctual wisdom, boundless joy, and potent self-healing capacities.
This approach IS the future of health and wellness.
Thank you Joyce for reminding us all that our stories are our medicine for each other. So in awe of your courage to share and the authenticity of your words.
Dr Kristy: Sally Ann Prisco another one of my favorites. I’ve entitled this one: “Admirably Witnessing Your Journey”.