Nobody warned me years ago when I first began my ReWilding journey that I would lose so much more than outdated and limiting belief systems, false personality, domestication and conditioning, and dis-ease.

Isn’t that enough?

And Isn’t that what I wanted?

Well, Nobody told me that I would also lose relationships with people whom I had once never imagined a life without.

It’s been said that we “outgrow” relationships. But I’ve learned that we don’t actually outgrow other people or situations; what actually happens is that as we evolve, our energetic vibration changes and is different from the way it was before. Our new vibration has outgrown our previous vibration. The entire energetic patterning has changed. Therefore we no longer resonate with others whose vibration resonates with our previous vibrations.

It’s all energy. As your energetic configuration naturally shifts, so, too, will your relationships. People, places, and plans you once thought you couldn’t live without will seem less essential. Situations and circumstances that once felt right now feel wrong.

Yet There is no wrong, only resonance.

Either someone or something resonates, or it doesn’t.

Energy doesn’t lie.

It’s really that simple.

And if you don’t yet know that everything is energy, then you don’t know anything about being alive in this human body in this world.

In my dance therapy training and conscious dance practice, I was taught: 

Energy moves in waves

Waves move in patterns

Patterns move in rhythm

We are all essentially a song; An energetic melody of resonant tones playing through our sacred vessel instrument (aka body) all day long. Some people like our song; It resonates. Some people don’t like our song; It doesn’t resonate.

When we listen to music we think nothing of changing the station or skipping to the next song in our playlist when there’s no resonance.

We let go of the song.

It isn’t personal.

Well, interestingly, relationships are the same.

But Why do they feel so much more important than a song on a playlist?


Because we become attached to people and situations. We spend our lives seeking resonance and once we find it we are scared to death to lose it.

And That’s the thing about attachment—we seek something that will make us happy. Then we find it, but the happiness is fleeting because it’s replaced by anxiety that we will lose the thing that made us happy. So all we are left with is a fearful holding on, and that prevents our energetic flow. That isn’t love. That’s fear.

Can you imagine listening to the same song over and over again every day all day for the rest of your life?

Of course not. You listen to music that resonates with your mood or emotional state—-All energy.

Yet we desperately try to hold on to people, places, and plans even when there is no longer resonance. We cling out of fear.

But we do have a choice.

Sometimes we return to that song if and when it resonates again.

Sometimes not.

We may acknowledge that things aren’t “working” and desperately try to rush in and analyze it, understand it, fix it. We ask why. We spend time accumulating all the clues, connecting all the dots, and sometimes it’s obvious and sometimes it’s not. The entire time we know deep inside the truth that something doesn’t feel “right”—aka resonant.  Our energetic rhythms have changed. Theirs have changed too. Our songs no longer sound the same, so our dance together looks and feels different.

And this is ok. Not only is it ok, it’s natural. It’s all energy. The laws of energy that govern this natural world don’t lie—energy is always in motion. We can try really hard to stop it, but it’s a waste of effort. And, by definition, a system becomes dis-eased when it’s natural state of flow is impeded.

This is true of the human body.

And it’s also true of human relationships.

When something or someone is no longer resonant, there is no other reason necessary than that. That’s the why. No other explanations or interventions are actually relevant.

And your intuition knew it all along. But you either didn’t hear it, or were too afraid to listen.

So you continued to dance, pirouetting yourself right out of alignment.

We always have a choice.

We can allow the dance to change.

We can sit it out.

We have a choice.

Isn’t it more complicated than that, you might ask?

No, it’s not.

We try to complicate it. But it’s actually really simple.

Energy doesn’t lie;

You just have to be open to witnessing it’s truth. 

For me, the more authentic I become, the more of my true self I embody, the more internally resonant I become, the more my relationships change. And there is always a moment of fear, an “oh shit” moment accompanied by clinging. It’s only fear.

Can I trust myself?

Can I trust in my ever-changing and ever-flowing internal rhythms?

Can I dare to let my song be sung authentically without fear of how it will land on others?

Can I stay in the dance for just a moment longer if I have to, knowing that it won’t last?

Can I trust that as I remain in flow, exciting new energetic resonances will flow to me?

I remain committed to my growth and evolution fueled by nothing other than the desire to embody my truth, speak my truth, appreciate others’ truths, and bask in the radiant light of the fire of authenticity sparked from within.

And so it is…..

Let me know if this excerpt from my forthcoming book was resonant for you….


??In the meantime, please check out my current book ReWilding: A Woman’s Quest to Remember Her Roots, Relindle Her Instincts, and Reclaim Her Sovereignty.

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