My greatest gift to my children is my own inner work. Each day I must learn and unlearn. And some days— I forget.
Life is a beautiful tango between remembering and forgetting; but there is no room on that dance floor for perfection. And I’ve had to work hard to remember that.
Most of who we think we are is actually trauma.
READ THAT AGAIN!
The years I spent neurotic, obsessive, perfectionist, racing through life—that wasn’t really me. It was a veil of illusion-a mask- a persona woven by the fabric of coping mechanisms and deeply ingrained trauma responses that wired my nervous system to react all the time in service of protecting me from what it believed to be threats coming at me from all angles, a byproduct of unresolved trauma still living in my body.
And in the process…
– [x] I lost the tenderness of both womanhood and motherhood.
– [x] I lost the gentle, kind, unconditionally loving way that is inherent in my being
– [x] I lost my innate patience and calm
– [x] I lost my truth
I was determined to reclaim her.
What didn’t work:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
What DID work:
Somatic trauma healing (incl: somatic experiencing, therapeutic dance, craniosacral balancing, shamanic healing, just to name a few)
Please know, I am not some master who has it all figured out.
Though I’ve come a long way by regulating my nervous system and balancing my energy body—fundamentals for true health-I have my moments in which my protective mind takes over and ego has its way with me. But With expanded consciousness I am able to recognize when it’s happening and course correct as needed.
A flexible, resilient nervous system is one that allows for our very humanness so we can respond (instead of react) and recover, time and time again.
These kids are watching my every step. Not only that, but their nervous systems are co-regulating with mine!
Co-regulation is the name for the process by which the nervous systems of family members, or those you spend the most time with, are attuned with one another. When I am disregulated, my children will be too!
My ReWilding is as much for them as it is for me.
Conscious parenting is so much more than taking your kids out into nature & mom and me yoga (though both practices are of course wonderful!), it’s about doing your own inner work to heal your wounds so you don’t bleed on your children. It’s learning how to regulate your nervous system so your children have a secure base from which to individuate and create their own experiences and identities. It’s remembering your roots, rekindling your instincts, and reclaiming your own sovereignty.
This is your legacy.
This is ReWilding parenthood.